What would be your response if people asked you a question they assumed you have answer to, but deep inside, You have no control or don`t want to talk about it for some personal reasons depending who is asking and where the question is coming from?
Experienced people can perfectly related to how hard and difficult it can be copping with delay,waiting and the rollercoaster of trying to conceive.
Study had shown that trying to conceive can cause depression for some people the thought of fail treatment,miscarriages, anxiety and inability to conceive normally like most people around you, It`s makes you to hate and feel disappointed with your body.
It`s easy to underestimate how stressful it can be until you experienced it.
That`s exactly the dilemma many couples face while trying to complete their family.
I can`t explain enough how hard it is to be trying so hard to conceive without result, as if the pain and agony of the delay is not enough,You also get to answer questions from people that might meant no harm, they throw it right in your face at any given opportunity.
Many are being subject to Answer a question they have no answer to or very difficult to answer.
below are 6 questions not to ask someone trying conceive.
1.When are you planning to get pregnant or start a family?
Seriously people should mind their business, difficulty getting pregnant does not necessary mean not trying/planning, seriously being blunt and constantly reminding someone about what they had been desperately wanted without result will add salt to the injured wound.
Just because some people have no infertility issue or conceive easily, just one or few attempt does not imply that it`s easy.
2.What are you waiting for?
People say this often out of concern but unfortunately it turned out to be act of concern gone wrong
Some people have no ideas how difficult infertility can be what the victims might be going through or have gone through unsuccessful treatment?
What about the miscarriages? It can take a while before expectant mother who suddenly discover that a live growing inside has no heart beat, the healing can take time depending on how the individual deals and cope with it, the issue of miscarriage can be emotional and many people find it difficult to discuss it unless with someone with similar experience or trusted professional counselor
Many people experience it Just because they chose not to wear it in their faces doesn`t give anyone the right to remind them what they are going through.
Don`t you think is time to make another baby? Many first time mothers who are having problem conceiving no2 will swear on this phrase.
People assumed just because you have no problem conceiving no1 so you`re wasting more time than you should for no2 or more.
3.When are we expecting to hear a cry of baby in this house?
I don`t know about you but the region I held from families and relatives have priority but they can go extreme out of concern gone wrong by asking personal questions like the above phrase especially the relatives e.g uncles, aunties and in-laws.
People assumed just because you have no problem conceiving no1 so you`re wasting more time that you should for no2 or more.
It might interest you to know that majority of couple like to see their children grow together without much age gap but do not wish anyone to remind them or assume that they are taking so long to get pregnant again, after one successful attempt .
4.Are you not going to give us grandchildren before we die?
Ok this phrase is grandparents tone, please for the grandparents, It will be awesome and splendid idea if you pray more for your children ask less questions. Most couples would love to give their parents grandchildren if only it`s easy as they made it sound, God time is the best.
5.Don`t you think the clock is ticking?
Tell the clock that sarah was 70 years old before God decided to bless her with Isaac.
Not to talk of someone who is not even close to above age,the point is that nothing is impossible with God.
I don`t want to sound religious but seriously People should know that God`s time is the best He is the one that gives children without looking at age.
This phrase might not be common but it doesn`t mean it has not been said.
6.Have you sort for help? (There are many alternative solutions out there you should try it)
Thanks for the reminder another out of kindness gone wrong. It`s not simple to make a personal and sensitive decision public especially when the couple are struggling to make a decision on which root to take.
Depending on where the advice is coming from, don`t try to start a fire you cannot quench.
Some issues are left personal can be discuss with trusted or someone you feel comfortable with.
.7 Who is going to bear your name when your gone?
The 7th question usually occur when Couples are having difficulties conceiving male child maybe they been blessed with 3-5 lovely daughters, In most African region few part of other continent are given more priority to male child than female, because girls are belief to have a place in their husbands home while boys are meant to secure permanent place in their fathers home, so when (Onochie) heir has not arrive the pressure will be too much and many close family and relatives umunna/umuada might even suggest second wife for the man with the belief that his wife is not woman enough to bear a male child or ask the woman to get pregnant elsewhere if the man is not man enough to get her pregnant,Couples should be wise don`t encourage negative advice no matter where is coming from. Children are blessing from God there should not be gender discrimination many people are craving to be parents regardless of the the gender.
Parents should learn how to appreciate what God gave them.
I don`t know which category you fall in I Just want to let you know that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. psalm 30:5.
If you`re the asking type, Their could not be a better time to evaluate and gather your thought together before asking and be careful of what you ask and whom, to avoid act of concern gone wrong.
In this journey of trying to conceive everyone story is different.
Majority find it difficult to talk about it due to personal reasons some chose not to talk about it because there is really no point while others might decide to talk to someone going through similar challenges and they feel comfortable to share their feeling and work through it to find best solution while some prefer talking to fertility specialist and counselor.
Whichever way the bottom line is do what you`re comfortable with and most importantly what makes you happy.
Trying to conceive can be hard, and emotionally stressful the delay might seemed as if it`s taken ages.
Counselling and talking through your experience with someone who understand and who you feel comfortable with or who`s going through the same thing can be helpful.
Someone like fertility specialist, close friend, relatives or couples with similar situation.
It can reassure you that you`re not alone get all the support you need.
This will give you opportunity to find out more about what`s involved and explored you`re concern and what is right for you to get that miracle baby you deserve.
Trying to conceive is like a long journey and rough road eventually you will get to your final destination,delay is not denial When you`re bundle of joy arrives you will hardly remember the long journey.
I pray you get all the support you deserve,finger crossed you don`t have to wait for a long time to be blessed with your miracle bundle of joy.
Just to remind you that you`re not alone in this journey God will see you through.
Good Luck and Baby dust.